Abstinence is an ideology that reaches beyond religion and is often not what people perceive it to be. Although there is a fundamental principle to avoid sex before marriage in the Christian Bible, it is a wise choice even when not looking within that context. Many people who choose abstinence do so as a personal choice. A choice that is often viewed by others as being prudish or attempting to control others but that is more often than not an untrue perception. Choosing to abstain from sex is often rooted in an individuals’ ideology of sex.

An individuals’ ideology of sex can lead them to choose to be abstinent until the time they choose to express that level of intimacy in a relationship. For some it may be a few weeks, months or until marriage depending on their point of view. Abstinence is not about waiting to have sex, but rather a point of view that sex is something you do in the time appointed to do so. It is about really getting to know a person without the added confusion of being intimate with someone you may not necessarily like, but you like how they can make you feel. There are benefits to choosing abstinence physically, mentally and emotionally, yet it is choice a person must make on their own.

If a person chooses to be abstinent, that choice should be theirs in order to receive the physical, mental and emotional benefits of abstaining. Avoiding STDs, HIV, Unwanted pregnancy, and various levels of stress and drama that can occur in not abstaining are the best benefits to abstaining. Yet when a person is forced to do so these benefits mentally and emotionally can cause a person to be disturbed. Just as it is unfair to attempt to pressure a person into sex, it is not right to try to force someone to choose abstinence. When you have a conflicting point of view in a relationship such as the time frame to be abstinent chances are it won’t work because you want two different things and neither is willing nor should they be forced to compromise.

Being forced to compromise is not conducive to a health relationship; however that is not to say a person may not choose to do so. After all relationships are give and take; nevertheless with abstinence there doesn’t exists a between, either you do or you don’t. If a person decided sex belongs in marriage, they are not saying you need to marry them to have sex, but that they only want to have sex with the person they choose to marry. To them sex is simply not part of being in a relationship and with that perception there isn’t any room for compromise. Although this view can be based on religion (***fornication is not an option for Christians***), it can also be seen as valuing the relationship you will have with your spouse above the people you may casually date.